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Joke of the Month
Two old guys suffering from Alzheimer's are sitting on a bench when an ice-cream van comes down the street. 'Do you want one?' asks the first guy. 'Yes, I'll have a cone, but write it down or otherwise you'll forget' says the second. 'No I won't' says the first. 'Look, I want a cone with a flake, and I know you'll forget, so write it down' says the second. 'I won't forget' says the first guy, getting slightly irritated. 'OK then, look - I want a cone, a flake and strawberry sauce. Now write it down or you WILL forget' says the second. The first guy is getting quite miffed now and still argues that he won't forget. The second guy says irritably 'I want a cone, a flake, strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands little chocolate bits sprinkled all over. You won't remember all that so 'WRITE IT DOWN!' The first guy, now really annoyed, walks off and five minutes later comes back with a meat pie. The second guy looks at him and says 'Where's my chips?' |
| Understanding North Derbyshire language: The following are translations from the Clay Cross 'language' used extensively in North Derbyshire, England. athareht t'neyt? - Are you going out tonight? didtha guweht last neyt? - Did you go out last night? wieryabin? - Where have you been? wivbin dertern - We have been into Chesterfield oos tern got Satdi? - Who are Chesterfield FC playing on Saturday? didthagu? - Did you go? worit oreyt? - How was it? thas seen nowtyit - Prepare to be amazed astha goraleyt? - Do you have any matches? worisit? - What's that? cana ayaluk? - May I see it? carweyntgu - My car will not start More next month!
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